Walking on the streets on a wet rainy day, I realised it had stopped raining and so I shut my umbrella. As I looked up to check the sky, my eyes froze upon the rainbow peeping out of the sky. I gazed in absolute wonder, my steps ceased, my eyes transfixed, a smile spreads over my face. How many times I had seen it before, yet the beauty of the rainbow and the magic of its being, filled me with an untold joy once again. I stood there for a while simply marvelling at the perfect creation of nature and fell in love with the rains all over again.
Have you ever experienced this state of wonder? A feeling of sheer surrender to the glorious vision beheld by the eyes; when you don’t bother to analyse it, evaluate it, or judge it, but simply enjoy it and revel in the vision. This vision remains etched into your memory forever and the emotion seeps into every bit of you. It is no wonder then that even when years have gone by, and you recall the memory, you feel as if you are living the moment in the present. This feeling is beautifully captured in the verses of William Wordsworth in his famous poem ‘Daffodils’... For oft, when on my couch I lie In vacant or in pensive mood, They flash upon that inward eye Which is the bliss of solitude; And then my heart with pleasure fills, And dances with the daffodils. ‘Wonder’, is a very powerful feeling. It is what triggers imagination and inspiration. That which is ‘unknown’, holds the power to entice us, and captivate our thoughts compelling us to discover it’s meaning. And even when you are finally able to demystify it, you will still find the experience moving, every time you recollect your first encounter. Umpteen number of intellectuals and geniuses who have uncovered the mysteries of the universe, have, with every uncovering, become humbled by the wonders of the creations of this world. "The most beautiful and deepest experience a man can have is the sense of the mysterious." - Albert Einstein. “Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.” ― Socrates Wonder comes naturally to children. There is magic in ‘wonder’. A child beholds the entire world in mystery. Everything that it sees is new and captivating. And so it is natural that we see children always curious and ready to explore. The simple everyday acts of the grown-ups seem to fascinate them enough that they try to replicate them. It is also a medium through which children establish their self belief. ‘I can’ is the building block of self confidence. It is important that we respect this stage of learning and self discovery in a child. Young children imitate and identify themselves with their near and dear ones. And so imitating the father going to work, or the mother cooking tasty food for the family, seem to be their most favourite play. In the play world of a child, simple dead objects lying around, seem to magically come alive and take different forms. They live with kings and fairies who enrich their imaginations. It is through play that children engage with their environment completely. It builds their passion for life. So what often seems silly to an adult, is the most important act of learning for a child. ‘Play’ is their way of learning about the world as well as themselves, at a pace that is right for them. Interfering in this exploration, that stems from the sense of wonder, by impressing heavy scientific information and facts, or even redirecting the child’s imagination to things that we adults find important, negates the child’s sense of self. Every time we tread into this territory and tell them what they ought to do, we disrupt their learning process. It gradually sets in the belief that the child doesn’t know what is right. The child experiences an internal conflict between longing to play, and following instruction. Besides, downpour of information into a child even before the child is ready and able to process the information, or internalise the knowledge, often does more harm than good. A child who is unable to comprehend the information, begins to feel lost and is disheartened. Repeated experiences of this negative emotion, gradually makes the child believe that he or she is ‘lacking’ something. As adults we must resist our urge to explain and rationalize everything around them. Allow them to create their own understanding of things through association. Let the child grow out of this wonder-filled stage naturally. Around the age of 6, children begin to respond to things differently. Stories of toads and fairies do not satisfy their curiosity any more. There is evidence of readiness and longing to know more. That’s when they are ready to move out of the fairytale world and go ahead. But the question is, ‘Are we ready to wait for them? Are we ready to go and meet them where they are? Or are we in some strange rush to grow them up?
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It's a typical weekday evening, and all of us are at the dinner table. Well almost... cause granny is on the sofa with her plate, watching her favourite serial, my son Tanmoy is on his laptop, headphones on, gaming away. Daddy dear is on the smartphone working out some details of the following days work. I scream at Tanmoy so he can hear that food is getting cold, and he shouts back over the blaring of his headphones that he will have it, so "..don't worry mom!". I look around exasperated and choose to go and sit by my mother-in-law on the sofa to check the latest posting on the whatsapp friends group. All in the same room, but worlds apart.
How many of you could actually see your household while reading this bit? I wouldn't be surprised that almost all of you. And that's the pity of the situation. Technology, as much as it has given us, it has taken away much more. While it is indeed difficult to imagine a life without the convenience of instant connectivity across continents, it is seemingly becoming more and more difficult to connect to people and family members across dinner tables. The 'sacrosanct' time, when all the scattered members of the family got together at the end of the day and shared the happenings and the sweet nothings of the day, has long lost. People find it simpler to connect to strangers over networking sites and feel it almost obligatory to 'like' the posts, yet they fail to notice the gestures and efforts the near and dear ones take to make lives of the loved ones convenient. But who is to blame for all this. It did not happen overnite. The transition from a 'happy... jolly... talkative... family unit' to a 'scattered... plugged in... out of time... family unit' happened because of some of our own inabilities. Our inability to disconnect from the outside world. Our inability to prioritise and commit dedicated time to our commitments. While we are at work, we steal time to chat with friends and so often when at home, we choose to catch up with work collegues. We also carry work home. Our longings to be connected with old friends make us isolate our loved ones. "No harm," you would say, until the time when your expectation from your kids and other members to pay attention to you, fall on deaf years. Suddenly you see that the techno-device addiction has spread like a virus in the household and is now eating away into your relationships. Family members have become less expressive of their feelings. Sometimes even confused of their feelings. Here's the thing. When you were busy getting engaged in lengthy chats with those far-away friends or work collegues, your child waited and waited to have his turn to talk to you. Overtime the message was clear, "...later". As age-old wisdom tells us, children imitate the grown-ups around them. And more so the ones they idolise. And that is exactly where they learnt to disconnect, because if it's okay for mom and dad, then I'm sure it's okay for me too. Moderation is the call of the hour! Let's wake up before it's too late. It's time we grown-ups set down our own hi-tech devices and give our home it's due importance when at home, before demanding it of our kids. It is we who have to get dis-enchanted from this virtual world and come back to the real world. Because this is where our love, and the loved ones are. Let us do the right thing and set the equation right. Respect your time with your family, and others will respect it too. Meet organically. Socialise in the real world. Unplug intentionally. Redeem relations. Celebrate life!! |
Bandana BasuWisdom lies all around us. It is for us to look for it in our day to day lives. Archives
April 2016
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